To be honest, not every Christmas turns out just as planned. This year, it just feels different. I can’t explain why, but it does. And when I say different, I mean it in a sad and depressing way.
It started when I found out my relative will have surgery. I was expecting it and the fact it is an outpatient surgery bothers me, but that’s because it is surgery. It is needed and is important to prevent major problems in the future. I was fine taking care of them… until I found out the surgery is scheduled the week before Christmas. That, and the fact that this will be the second time this year my relative is having surgery in three months bothers me.
Then the driving around the area where I live is just weird. Arizona isn’t know for it’s safe driving anymore (It hasn’t been since the early to mid 2000’s) but this type of driving? It’s weird. Really weird. I’m too scared to drive anywhere anymore. This means I stay home and not go anywhere fun for the holiday season. No driving to my favorite mall and walk around to look at the decorations and shop. No trips to see a light parade. No visits to my friends’ homes to see how they are doing. (They are like me and decided not to drive as much as they normally do this year)
Add to this problems with my Christmas decorations (Specifically a nativity scene I purchased a few years ago and I love, but is having very weird condition issues) and a virus that has lasted over a week and… well… Christmas 2024 hasn’t been turning out way I thought it would.
This year, I feel depressed about how everything is turning out. It is something I’ve been watching for the past few years and has reawakened some of my old dislikes towards the area where I live. There is still time until Christmas and New Year’s Eve for things to turn around. Yet, as I write this post, I don’t know if it will change. This Christmas season is probably the season when I’ll need to celebrate close to home and approach the reason for the season in a different way.
That’s all for now. Thank you for reading.
