+Right now, as I write this, I’m going through some major life changes. After suffering from health problems for many years, I’m getting physically stronger and my stamina is improving. I still have a ways to go, but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I began to improve years ago, but it wasn’t until the last two years when I began to see major progress. It was ironic that I began to improve during the beginning and throughout the pandemic. Even though I didn’t think I would improve, I did and still am.
Now that my health is improving so much, I began to realize I will need to focus on the next phase of my life. I had plans for my life, but I had to completely postpone them until my health returned. Now that it is, I’m not completely sure what to do with my life next.
I was a teenager when I began to really struggle with my health. Back then, I attended a high school and community college that was not the right fit for me, had friends from that same college that were not good for me, and needed to find myself a job but couldn’t find one that would make my family happy. (They wanted me to focus on school, not working while going to school) Then I began to struggle with my health. So, I put attending the community college aside so I could work and focus on my health.
I don’t regret the decision to leave the college I attended at that time, but it was hard. I knew it would be hard, but I was happy I didn’t need to go into debt while attending a college I really didn’t like nor enjoyed. Back then, I would rather work than go the college again. Even though I still wanted an education, and did, I wanted to attend somewhere else. And I wanted to do it when I am healthier. Now that I’m healthier, I considered returning to the college I used to attend. Yet, I still remembered the problems I had at the college when I was a teenager. So, I decided to not return to that specific college and finish my degree.
Since I cannot use attending to my old college as my next goal, I tried to figure out what I would use as my next goal. After some thought, I began to wonder why I even wanted to make goals for myself anymore.
When I was a teenager, I used goals to motivate myself to move into adulthood. While I was sick, making goals is my way of motivating myself to continue living my life and keep myself optimistic and confident about myself and life. Now that I don’t need to make any more goals like I used to for the reasons why I used to, I feel pretty lost and even more unsure about what I should do now.
This is why when I realized I didn’t need to make another goal right now was such a revolution to me. I know I need to make a big goal for myself, such as moving from where I currently live, save for a vacation, and other important things in my life, but I don’t need to make goals for myself like I used to. Goals such as graduating from the community college I talked about in so many semesters or less.
Now that I don’t need to figure that out, I feel more at peace about my life. I’m happy with the progress I made and am optimistic about my future. I look forward to making new goals I’m excited about, but I will wait for those new goals to come. I have goals for my life right now but I don’t need to make any more right now. I want to focus on them and not overwhelm myself with more stress.